going to hawaii!

well it's tuesday in the early morning and i'm freaking out. i cant believe in 3 days i'll be in hawaii. i'm so freaking scared of honestly everything and anything that can go wrong. the plane, the ship, the hotel. i'm a worrier by trade. i always expect the worst and pray for the best. i guess it's my cf way of thinking. it's really hard for me to be positive sometimes. i will have fun no matter what. i'm a bit concerned cause i've been a little sob but i think it's cause i'm ovulating and i've been doing these long walks on a full stomach. w/e my digital pft machine says i'm fine and i'm coughing up like crazy when i feel anything junkie in my lungs. my mom is all concerned but i try to ease her thoughts and tell her it's my breathing excersies, which it is. i know i'm not anywhere as bad as i was last year health wise. well all is the same on every other aspect. i'm off to hawaii on friday. :)

so.....i'm working out like a beast and trying to cough up as much as possible! my friend told me about this supplement called NAC that's supposed to maintain cellular health. she knows someone who's pft's went up 10%. i think that's just amazing. right now if they told me that dog poop helped with my lungs i'd be right there trying it. lol. i'm so ready for hawaii, i want to do so much. i just hope i dont get short of breath. if i do i know that i can just take a minute and breathe deeply and i'll be fine. oh, i went up to tampa to see my friend from dc and it was so crazy. everywhere i looked reminded me of things i did with my ex. he lives up in tampa. so i ended up texting him and of course he's doing great and working alot and everything is just sunshine and rainbows. BARF. i want to be happy for him but it's so hard. my friend from dc was a great host. it wasnt what i thought it was going to be but it was nice. w/e no biggie. i'm really hoping my lung functions go up when i see the docs the week after hawaii. my gluts are killing me! yesterday i climbed up this rock slide all day long and now i feel it like crazy! i'm dying to do it again. haha. gotta go. bye!!

SO UPSET!!! :(

well i went to the docs on monday and my pft's went down. i guess that's cause i finished the study med about 6 weeks ago and the effects of it have left my body completely. i wanted to cry when i saw my numbers. my fev1 was at 28%. oddly enough my docs werent worried a bit. they said it has happened to all the patients who had been on the study med. it was a blind study but i guess i was getting the good stuff. i'm still working out and eating great. i'm up to 106lbs last year i was 92lbs. i'm only 4'11". i asked the docs what's next? can i still go to hawaii, do i need ivs? they said no that my numbers will stablize and i'll be back to 39% soon. can you believe he told me dont look at the numbers? i was like what! i live by those things. he said what mattered was how i looked and felt. plus my sat's were at 97% on room air. i was on inhaled levaquin for the study and i want that med asap!! lol. i'm actually going into another study for cipro. it's supposed to be REALLLLYYYY GOOOD. I'm sure your numbers will get up in no time. i did feel like i was coming down with a cold this weekend so that might be why they went so low as well. i talked to another cf friend who was on the same study and her pft's went low as well, so low they wanted to admit her. she asked them for a week to get better and her numbers went back up. long story short, if they arent worried i wont be either. i'll check up on that med you wrote me about as well. sorry so long. lol. love ya, wendy v.

P.S. this was a message i wrote to a cf friend. i just copied and pasted. i didnt want to write the story over again.

Dr. visit on Monday!

well i had my last study appt. on monday. i've been off the study med for a month now. i'm at 108 weight wise which is super heavy for me. i've never been over 104. then i did the dreaded pft. the last time i was at 32% which sucks. i've been stuck on that for 4 months now. it's better than last year when i was at 29% and on the transplant list. so i remember doing the pft and looking at my fev1 with shock. it was at 39%! i know it's not much at all but i've been working so hard to just get something past 35% and finally i did it. also my docs told me last yr that my scarring in my lungs were pretty bad and i would only be able to get up to 35 or 36% and now i'm at 39%. it's insane and i hope the machine wasnt broken or messed up. i'm going back in two weeks so we'll see how i'm doing at that time. i feel the same with 39% honestly. i have been working out almost 5 to 6 days a week. it's not hard work outs but i do sprints outside and i do my exercise bands to tone up and i have the eliptical and treadmil also i have been sweeping and mopping 4 days a week cleaning my house floors and omg that's such a workout. lol. my chest was really tight and sore on the weekend and i was super scared but the doc says it's my chest muscles expanding and getting sore. i never knew cleaning the floors could do that. lol. going to the beach tomorrow and cant wait to get sun! i feel like the sun also helps us cfers. vitamin e! i think. i hope the water isnt too cold and i hope there are no jellyfish. i'm deathly afraid of those things!! laters.

Any CFers wanna make easy money????

There is a market research company asking CFers questions about our medications and our opinions on CF products. If you qualify, you get paid $50 and for referring you I will get $50 as well. If you are interested, please reply back to me and I will email you the info. If not, then I will pass this on to other CF friends. If you qualify for the study I , wendy victorero, will get $50 for referring you. This sounds pretty fair to me! If your like me, then you could use the $50 right now as well. They ask you: what kind of inhaled medications do you use, what kind of antibiotics do you use, what kind of neb and compressor do you use (brand). If you qualify, youll get a $50 check. I do a lot of the CF market research studies, and you usually get your check within 3 weeks.

How do i change the background?

How do i change the background. i've done it before but when i try to add a new one it doesnt pop up. anyways everything is going ok since yesterday. no big changes. lol. chatted with some friends online. i got my new ipod in the mail and my new speakers but i'm still waiting for the twilight movie. i have no idea how i got so into it. i swore i was going to hate it and i started watching it and loved it! cant wait for the next one. well it's 60 days til i go to hawaii. i'm super excited but i'm the type of person who holds it all in. with cf you learn to do that cause you never know what can happen the next day, hour, minute. it sucks but it's reality. i never syke myself for anything cause i know it might not happen. i've been chatting with another cf online who is going through a rough patch in his relationship. it's really helped me to be able to vent to someone who also has cf and understands our mind set when it comes to relationships. well it's late and i have therapy in the morning.

This Weekend....Family Drama!

This weekend was alright no biggie. In a way i cant wait to just get out of miami!! sometimes i wish i didnt have cf so i could just travel the world. with cf we have to lug all our meds with us and we need to be close to a pharmacy, a hospital, and cf doctors. Thank god that the internet has introduced me with many other cf's around the world, so i know there are many cf clinics out there if i ever do want to move.

on friday i went to dinner with my cousin then went to a friend's house. my sis was there as well as some couples. it felt like i was in an episode of the view. all the women sitting around a table talking about issues and entertainment and of course gossip. i got bored after a bit. we left at around 2am. then saturday during the day i heard that my cousin was having a bbq at her place. i got there and it was a bunch of people i didnt know. they were all her bf's friends. i cant stand her bf so i was super upset that they were making a mess of the place. why didnt they do it at his place? so i was at the bbq just looking at all these early kids in their twenties and wondering if i ever acted that stupid. they didnt even introduce themselves to me. they just pretended i wasnt there. my cousin's sisters were there. they are younger and i made the biggest mistake to complain to them about what was happenning. so i left a little while afterwards. Then at night i went to go see I LOVE YOU MAN!! lol. it was really great. while i was watching the movie i looked at my phone and saw that i had 3 text messages. weird cause i usually never have that many at a time. it was my cousin saying that i was very rude and whoever she wants to invite to her place is her business. first of all that's her parents place and those arent her friend's their her bf's. does she actually think those guys are going to stay friends with her after they break up? ugh, i just got so mad. today was my other cousin's bday party at some sushi place. i didnt go because i didnt want drama and i didnt want to ruin my cousin's party. it was just a mess. w/e i cant stand the dude. i even heard that he cheated on her. i know it's none of my business and i should stay out of it and blah, blah, blah, but that's my blood and i will defend it to the end. that guy has to go!!