Sunday, August 15, 2010

Getting some mental therapy.

well i'm going to start seeing a psychologist. i so need one. i've been pretty blue lately and it's for no reason. well it might be due to the fact i dont have a guy and my family is asking me why not. also when i did this research thing for a psychologist at UM i almost started crying when she got to the emotional part. i know i've said this before but i feel like i have nothing to offer a man. i cant give him kids nor can i have a full-time job, i mean my health is my job. i love being able to do my vest if i need to in the middle of the day or a neb. i just love having all the time in the world to do and go wherever i want. But why cant i be like this when it comes to my dating life? also i hate when guys remember me for one thing, and it's not a good one. wtf is that all about? maybe i need to become a nun. geez i'm already 32 but in cf age it's more like 62. my friend told me he met this chick with a full-time job and getting her MBA and she was gorgeous and i was like how would i ever compete with that? oh, i can cough up more mucus than her??? i dont know how i'm better than anyone. i always feel like i have to accomadate to people and please them. pleasing them so they like me. why cant they please me? i'm so unbalanced when it comes to dating and relationships. i have no idea who's gonna want to put up with me. blah. i feel like relationshits is all i talk about. sorry everyone. i feel like the samantha in my group of friends. i always say i'm happy to be single but i long for someone. i hate dating.


Amy said...

I know exactly what you mean. I feel the same way, and I have a man. It took me years to get one and not feel like with every cough he is going to leave. However, now my issue is being able to talk to him about hard his bratty daughter who needs to learn respect. I'm too worried that he will say screw you and dump me. It's no way to live, for either of us.

I am searching today for a psych and I can't wait to get in to see them. My mind is a terrible thing right now and only exacerbates the whole situation. I hope you are able to find one you connect with as well and can work on your issues too!

<3 you!

Andy Lipman said...

I have CF too and seek tons of therapy. Also I like horror movies but that's not the point I guess. My blog is