Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Adult situation, read at own risk.

Transvaginal Ultrasound before abortion bill: This is a bill being passed in virginia. I think this bill is just horrible. why? well i had one done many yrs ago when i was 19 and i had an unplanned pregnancy. I had the to make the horrible choice to terminate the pregnancy. I was dating someone with a drug problem and was abusive. I also have my CF which at the time my pfts were up in the 90's which i dont think would have been a problem to carry the pregnancy. This procedure was the hardest thing i've ever gone through. First off, the doctor who did it didn't want to do it but because he knew about my cf condition and the insurance would cover it he went along with it. before the procedure he gave me a Transvaginal Ultrasound and this was my first time at a gyn and i didnt know what this thing was going to do. All of the sudden this thing is in my vagina and i look up on the screen to see this beautiful fetus i was going to destroy. Everyday of my life i think about what i did and how bad i feel now. I'm 34, single, no kids and just the thought that another woman would have to have this procedure done before they make their choice is unbelieveable. Also i had this procedure without any pain meds. The doctor only gave me motrin and i felt everything. i was totally awake and it was such a horrible experience. Please don't judge me because of this. I love kids but at this time of my life i felt like a kid myself. i was 19 and so confused about life and i wasn't ready, also i wasn't even taking care of my health. One day when i go up to heaven i hope to see he or she and be a mom and ask for forgiveness. I just wanted to say that people who have abortions aren't women who dont care, they do care and they are doing what they think is right. I dont regret what i did but i wish i didnt have to see that image on the ultrasound. it will haunt me forever.


Amy said...

People do what they have to do. I don't judge you for it at all!

I have a friend who had one many years ago as well. She was 22 but not ready to have a baby. She didn't even know if she ever wanted babies. She is now married to the guy she was dating and they have a child. She got lucky since she was only 4 weeks along and there was nothing but cells there. And she didn't have to see it. I don't judge her either.

I had a TV US done to look for cysts and it felt weird to be looking at a screen that one day could show me my baby. It was a strange feeling. Of course after the hysterectomy there will be no babies lol. But I can't imagine what it would be like to actually SEE the baby and then have to abort it. Women don't use abortion as BC. They use it when it is needed. Personally I am pro-choice and think that if a woman wants to abort the fetus they should. Its not the governments choice. Its cells, not a living breathing baby. I am also against anything post first trimester though.

Making a woman see the fetus prior to abortion is just torture. By the time the woman says "I want an abortion" she most likely has gone over every.freaking.scenario in her head on how to keep it or what to do. There is no need for this final ridiculous measure.

Sorry for the novel LOL

sunshine rose said...

hey amy, the novel is fine!! i feel like i missed my chance to be a mom and maybe i should have fought my parents and kept it but that's all over with now. i was about 2 months along so i saw the whole thing. still get me emotional when i think about it.

Amy said...

lots of hugs for you <3