GLEE

omg, i'm addicted to glee!! it's crazy, i love it sooo much. i wish i could sing like they do. michele lea has such an amazing voice and jonathan groff is gorgeous, why do he have to be gay? :( i'm watching the episodes i've missed. i might be starting cayston real soon. i've signed some papers to get the meds. i still havent seen any progress with me working out and doing all my meds and cpt once with a therapist and again with my vest but i havent gotten sick so i guess thats good. nothing else is really new. all is the same which i guess is good. the only thing missing is a good man but hey, we cant have it all. lol. i do want one with all my heart but things cant be rushed. i always seem to want guys i cant have, like ones who live states away. i really dont find anyone attractive in miami. i've decided when i make money from the insurance indemnities i would want to move to west palm beach. laters, wendy v.

Bad Dreams.....

last night was a tough night. a friend's ex passed away, she had a transplant about a yr ago and she just gave up. i guess because of that i had a horrible dream. i had a dream i was in the hospital and it was for a tune up. then i wake up and i have these chest tubes and people are telling me i'm doing great with my new lungs. i freaked out, it was so weird cause i was floating on top of my body looking at myself. i was so mad, i didnt want a transplant like that. so i woke up all scared, and now i feel like a sinus cold is coming on. blah. this yr has been tough for cfers, alot of us have passed on. i hope this stops by the summer time. it's such a sad time. :(

DOWNER!!

well after taking two days off this weekend i got back to working out on monday. i did one mile on the tredmil and jumped rope, it has a counter on it and i did about 100 jumps. then i do some cooling down exercises. At night i was online and chatting with a friend and i told this friend my fev1 which i know sucks, it's at 28% which it has been since late last yr. but my docs dont seem to be worried and they know that if i needed to get on the transplant list i would totally understand and i feel great. Well my friend was so mean and scarying me. he told me that if i caught a bug i would die and i wont get back to baseline and i should get evaluated, hello my doctor is on the board of members who select if someone needs a tx or not. i think he would have told me a long time ago if i needed one. i was just so upset cause i know this isnt my baseline, i know i can do better. today i was back on the tredmil and i did a over a mile and a half and did the jump rope for over a hundred jumps. then at night i do the vest, in the morning a therapist comes and gives me cpt. also i know that the new med azteronam will bring my fev1 up. when i went to the doc last monday my fev1 stayed the same but my fvc went up alot. over ten points. so i was happy and my weight is stable at 105 which is great for me. ok, gotta go. wendy v.

finally new post!

well lets see. what's new??? i went to tennessee for new years and had a great time. i became an auntie in oct and i've been loving it! i hope to start school soon but my financial aid didnt go through cause i owe a loan which now i'm paying off. i own a toyota camry which i need to change to gas pedal cause one day my car wont stop. great! It's all quiet on the boyfriend front. story of my life. lol. oh, in dec. i wrote an email to my ex and he wrote me back not to bother him so it was an awesome wake up call. i've never bothered him again, also he told me he's getting sent to afghanistan(sp) great time to tell people to fuck off. the only reason i wrote to him was because i was feeling super sick and i wanted to vent and maybe get some support from him. Big Mistake!

I'm working out a lot more. i'm actually doing a mile a day on the tredmil and i'm trying to better my time each day i do it. when i started it took me 28 mins and now i'm at 19 mins. it's been about 3 weeks since i started working out this intensily(sp). i jump rope as well and i do about 200 jumps a day. i've been doing this for about 3 weeks and i went to the doc on monday and weight is still 105 and my fev1 sucks at 28 but my fvc went super high, it's in the 50's. my doc was impressed. i'm a horrible speller. umm.....i figured out a way to make money each time i go into the hospt. it's getting these insurance policies and they pay you for each day you are there. i know some cfers who have 11 policies and some of them pay from 300 to 1000 dollars a day. also there's ones that if you need a transplant the day you go for the operation you get 25 grand. my friend has 3 of those and that 75 grand you can have and new lungs! also incase your not listed in your state and have to stay somewhere else that money will go a long way. i'm very excited about this cause i couple of yrs ago i got so sick i was going in like every 3 months. now if that happens i'll be at least making money. i know money isnt everything but not being able to work a full time job with cf at least i'm getting some sort of income. also since i have ssdi i dont have to tell the government and it's all tax free. so ladies when i go in the hosp i might be coming out with 10 grand. lol. my mom is going to help me take out some policies and of course she wants half the cut. lol. i'm only going in once a year right now but who knows what the future holds. it only counts if your inhouse not in home health. with this money and me also going back to school and working as a sub. teacher i want to move out and finally start living on my own. i will find a place close to home cause i'll probably eat dinner at my parents place. lol. i hope and pray things go as planned. i actually have a happy outlook on the future. :) ok, if anyone has questions about the policies let me know and i can give you the agents number. some polices are like twenty dollars a month but can go up to 300 a month. those pay out a grand a day when your in so it's worth it in the end. here are some new pics!!!

I'm 32!!!

Hey everyone,

so yeah i've been long gone from this blogging thing. i was applying for jobs and going to interviews. I thought i had one but as soon as i said i had cf, it was dunzo. whatever maybe it's a sign i need to just focus on my workingout and staying healthy. My pft's are stable at the sucky 30's and my weight my great at 105.

Also i've met a few guys and went on a lunch date on monday. i thought it went great but he hasnt called and i didnt call him. i got stood up on friday. ehhh, those things dont surprise me anymore living here in miami. i heard this radio show that said miami is the most attractive city. also there are more women then men here. it's freaking torture. why cant i be happy that i have my health, family, and friends? why cant i just be like ok, screw men. i guess it's cause i've been single for soooo long.

my bday weekend was fun. on saturday me and 3 girlfriends went to this resturant/bar/club. yep lots of slashes. it was such a great time. awesome atomsphere and the music was pretty good. it was just great to go somewhere that there was a non somking policy. it's super hard to find those in miami. then on sunday we did a little family party at my aunt's house. the dolphins actually won! it was a great time. i got some money and a few great presents. i had an awesome time. well that's all for now. laters, wendy :)

ENOUGH!!

enough with men!! i swear i'm so done. i've deleted all the losers numbers and wont be contacting any of them. i'd rather be totally alone than keep being used. i'm just going to keep my focus on my health and family and close friends. if a man comes into my life then that's great, if not then that's fine too. i hate going back and fourth on this and yes it sucks to be alone but i dont want to whine anymore. i'm almost 32 and i should be happy i'm alive, most of my friends didnt make it to where i am now. ok, i'm out and going to workout. peace out everyone!! RIP sweets, I LOVE YOU!! xoxo.

It's been forever!

I've been pretty busy with stuff. I'm applying for tons of per-diem jobs and trying to get interviews so i havent had time to put all of my thoughts together. So right now i'm blue, my dog sweets was 14yrs old and had to be put to sleep today. i'm so sad but i cant cry. i know i will i'm just waiting for it to all come out. my mom has been crying non stop. i even emailed the ex and he didnt write back, no surprise. i'm so poor right now and my phone bill came out to over $100 dollars. i used the internet on it and i thought it was free. big huge mistake. i've been talking to a couple of new guys but no progress. i still have my DC guy and i'm going to visit him once my sis has her baby boy. my lungs are doing ok. last year i went to seaworld and had to use a wheelchair cause i was so outta breath. this year i went to aquatica one day and seaworld the next and did it all on my own!! i feel like i caused this to happen. i was mad one day and i asked god to just take me cause i couldnt stand life anymore. instead he took my best friend. :( i shouldnt have done that. i'm so stupid. i just dont feel like i'm useful, i feel like i just take, take, take. as you can tell i'm ovulating and on a downer. i hope things get better next week. i have a job interview and i see my doctor and i go to the research clinic. laters, wendy v.