Sunday, May 20, 2012
so i've been in miami for over a week now. i go back to spring hill on tuesday. since i've been home i've been catching up with my friends and having tons of girl talks. there's this one friend that was asking me if my boyfriend was romantic, honestly he's the most caring, loving person but not romantic what so ever. it kinda makes me sad. i would love roses when i get home or gifts. i mean i know he loves me but when i hear about what romantic things guys do to their girlfriends, it breaks my heart mine doesn't. he knows he's not romantic, i mean i'll ask him to get me a present and he gets me the wrong thing, at least he gets me something i guess. he does my therapy and takes care of me when i'm sick which is so important to me, but why do i feel jealous when my friends get watches, rings, purses, sunglasses from their boyfriends and not me. i also think to myself, he already does so much for me, maybe i shouldn't ask him for more. is it fair for me to just do that. i mean he wants me to tell him what ring i want if he proposes me to. he's so unromantic, it just hurts sometimes. i dont know if it's my horomones and i'm freaking out about nothing or if i should bring it up? i don't want to make him feel bad either. i miss miami so much, i hate living so fucking far away. i do think i'm ovulating cause i'm mad as hell for no reason. i think memorial day weekend we are going to the keys, we'll see. tomorrow i got a pulmonary doc appt. i hope all my working out and extra therapy will help me. it's weird cause i feel more stuff moving all around in my lungs, it bothers the shit outta me. ugh. i also have to do a 6 minute walk test for the stupid oxygen company, hello fuckers my pft's are at 30%, fuck yeah, i need o2. before that appt i have to see my psychiatrist and then after the pulmonologist i have an appt for a microdermabrassion. it's gonna be a long ass day. so not looking forward to anything at all. wenv.