Tuesday, February 3, 2009


i went to the docs on monday and finally my pft's went higher. my fev1 went from 31% to 35%. and my weight is stable 103 which is fine for my small frame, i'm only 4'11". also i saw the endo and my blood sugars arent that bad but they could be a bit better. sometimes i do get into the low 200's which isnt good. i think my eyes are also giving me problems. sometimes i feel like they arent fully opened. it's like that feeling when you just wake up and they are still adjusting and your vision is still kind of blurry or doubled. it's weird, i really cant explain it. i think i need to start taking some sleeping pills. last night i didnt fall asleep until 4am and then took naps most of the day. i was able to do my workouts and clean the house floors. Next monday is going to be a crazy doctor day. i have to be at 10am at my pulmonologist to start a research med so they have to do an evaluation. that will take 2hrs. then at 1pm i have an endo appt. and then at 2pm i have to go back to the pulmo. for a regular visit. i'm so dreading that day. something retarded i did, i went to eharmony and tried it out for a month which was pretty expensive and my matches sucked! lol. how horrible is that!! also i'm going to try to go back to school for paralegal studies. my friend told me they hire temps alot and that's exactly the type of schedule i need. oh last thing my ex still hasnt contacted to check why i havent been around for a while. i guess that's my answer that he's too busy cause he's moved on. today i had the biggest urge to text him with my new number and i pick up my book "it called a breakup cause it's broken" and thank god it helped me see that i'm worth more than him and he's the one that made the choice to breakup with me so if he wants to contact me he knows my email and my house number so wtf. i know there's someone out there for me, you know what they say it happens when your not looking, there's plenty of fish in the sea, you need to meet new people, god has a plan for you, and etc. i hope all those phrases are right cause i just dont know anymore. i'm totally leaving it up to life it's self. no more searching online or asking people if they know anyone it's just too much. if i'm single it's cause i havent found the right one and that's it. no more blaming myself or the other person in the past, it's just over. i am happy either way!!!

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