well today i had a visit with my psychiatrist. i told him about how blue i've been feeling lately and how everything makes me so emotional. i see him because when i was 23 i quit drinking and having "fun" cold turkey. then all of the sudden i started having really bad panic attacks where i would pass out and i wasnt able to work or go out of my house. i stayed in my house for two weeks straight. it was the scariest time of my life back then. ok so i saw him today and told him everything and he upped my dose of zoloft and gave me something to go to sleep with but i'm scared to take it. i called my cf doc and he told me to hold off on it until i see him next monday. they gave me lunesta. i dunno what's wrong with me. i still tear up whenever someone asks me about my ex or what happened. i just dont know why it's so painful. i've had so many great things happen to me after him. i should have been able to let him go. i am doing much better though, i havent emailed or texted him in about 3 weeks. i'm so fucking lame. well the great thing is that i'm going to hawaii!!!! yep, i've set up all the flights and hotels stays and the cruise the most important part. here are some pics of me in the keys last weekend!!!