Healing.....

So i decided to be friends with my ex. We are just emailing each other at this time. I know we will never get back together, which is fine because i wouldnt want to be with someone who doesnt want to be with me. We just emaile each other about how were doing and what's going on in our lives at the moment. everything except if he's dating anyone or if i'm dating anyone. that subject is off the table! My mom has been sick for the past couple of weeks and now she gave me her cold a few days ago. it's turned into a sinus infection from hell! everything and anything you can imagine is just dripping from my nose. lol. my mom smokes and has smoked since she was 14yrs old. infact she revealed to me that she even smoked when she was pregnant with me. i cant believe i wasnt born sicker. When i get sick and dont feel better i panic and get really manic and my mind starts racing. it's the worst feeling in the world! that's one of the reasons i wrote the email to my ex to be friends again. he always knew how to calm me down. i hope to be able to get a good nights sleep tonight. i wish i could work like i did before. i worked and went to school. i wish my energy was up like that again. i know it's hard to follow what i'm writing cause my thoughts are all over the place and i just write about the first thing that pops into my head. i have a doctor appt. on monday which i'm dreading cause i know my pft's arent going to be better. since i have this sinus infection i'm not able to go anywhere cause i feel so horrible and i feel like my upper chest is super congested. hopefully i'll start to feel better soon. i finish my home iv's next week. have a great weekend everyone! xoxo.