Tuesday, January 13, 2009


Last night when i went to bed i prayed. i really never pray. i feel like if i pray and things go wrong i'll get mad at god. yesterday i just felt so lost and i felt so sad that i didnt do as well as i wanted to in my pft's so i just prayed to god to help me and to not let me quit. i woke up today with such a great energy. i worked out i danced i sang i jumped like a kid. i dont have weights so i took out the gallon of water in my fridge and did weights with it. then returned some calls and did other stuff. i went online and found out some dude i was hooking up with after my ex, he was the rebound, got a girlfriend. i was happy about that too cause i dont have to worry about him either!! woohoo. i feel free.

i do have a problem. even though i'm doing great i do feel like a failure in one aspect. i never finished college. i was able to go in my twenties. i was in great health but i needed to work full time to get insurance. my mom's job wouldnt cover me. i traded in school for work. now it's weird telling people i have no education but i have my life. they dont understand it. they think oh this girl is so lazy she lives with her parents has no bills, etc. which is so false i pay my car, my credit cards, my phone, my gas, my extra stuff lol. i guess i could do online classes but i need money and i'm tired of asking my parents. i did apply at my old job working in a per-diem aspect. hopefully they'll call me soon.


Tiffany said...

if you want to do online classes, jerry cahill at boomer essiason offers great scholarships to cf folks to go to University of Phoenix. Check it out!

i hear you tho. i have no degree and that has bothered me a lot. these days, however, i rarely think about it. sometimes the degree is the thing and other times it's just finding your niche.

good luck! :)

sunshine rose said...

i wish i could do public speaking like you. i would love to talk to high school and jr. high school kids about tolerance and people being different. i got picked on so much in school and i never told anyone about cf so kids made up stories that i used drugs and smoked and that's why i had a horrible cough. one day in jr. high i was taking my pills in lunch and a kid saw me and told a teacher i was taking drugs. i got sent to the principal's office and i had to bring my mom the next day cause they didnt believe my cf story and they took my pills away!! i would love to take that scholarship but i didnt do that well in school. my grades were horrible.