Thursday, January 1, 2009

New YEAR'S!!!

well my new year's was ok. i chilled with family and then went to a friends party which i had to leave cause there were dragons sitting at a table near where i was at and the smoke was horrible. it was a very small outdoor party so i really couldnt go anywhere to escape it. i just went hom at around 2am. i was super upset cause i really wanted to watch the sunrise and couldnt do it cause my mom put fear in me saying that i was going to get sick from the cold and the wind. WHATEVER!! i'm almost 40 and she still controls me. sometimes i feel like getting free housing and just moving out anywhere. Then i think about what if i get sick and there's no one there to help me. but i know everyone is a phone call anyway so. i hope in 2009 i'm more confident in myself and i'm not embarrassed if i need to wear oxygen in front of strangers or if i need to cough. i shouldnt care what others think.

my ex texted me on tuesday to let me know he was offically an uncle. i was kind of upset cause i was finally getting over him. i really didnt care he was an uncle, i mean honestly if i text him it's about my health. which i'm starting to feel that he just wants to know out of pitty for me. i'm not texting him about my health anymore cause i just want that chapter closed. i still have strong loving feelings for him and it still hurts like hell when i hear from him. it hasnt gotten any easier. i texted him for new year's to be a nice person and he never texted back. what a Fu*Ker! sorry. he just brings out the worst in me!

the good thing is that i'm going to the dolphins playoff game against the ravens. i cant wait!! i love football and i'm so excited. it's my first playoff game ever! i hope we win, even though the odds are against us. i'm still routing for my man chad pennington! what a HOTTIE!! lol.

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