Last night when i went to bed i prayed. i really never pray. i feel like if i pray and things go wrong i'll get mad at god. yesterday i just felt so lost and i felt so sad that i didnt do as well as i wanted to in my pft's so i just prayed to god to help me and to not let me quit. i woke up today with such a great energy. i worked out i danced i sang i jumped like a kid. i dont have weights so i took out the gallon of water in my fridge and did weights with it. then returned some calls and did other stuff. i went online and found out some dude i was hooking up with after my ex, he was the rebound, got a girlfriend. i was happy about that too cause i dont have to worry about him either!! woohoo. i feel free.
i do have a problem. even though i'm doing great i do feel like a failure in one aspect. i never finished college. i was able to go in my twenties. i was in great health but i needed to work full time to get insurance. my mom's job wouldnt cover me. i traded in school for work. now it's weird telling people i have no education but i have my life. they dont understand it. they think oh this girl is so lazy she lives with her parents has no bills, etc. which is so false i pay my car, my credit cards, my phone, my gas, my extra stuff lol. i guess i could do online classes but i need money and i'm tired of asking my parents. i did apply at my old job working in a per-diem aspect. hopefully they'll call me soon.
2 comments:
if you want to do online classes, jerry cahill at boomer essiason offers great scholarships to cf folks to go to University of Phoenix. Check it out!
i hear you tho. i have no degree and that has bothered me a lot. these days, however, i rarely think about it. sometimes the degree is the thing and other times it's just finding your niche.
good luck! :)
i wish i could do public speaking like you. i would love to talk to high school and jr. high school kids about tolerance and people being different. i got picked on so much in school and i never told anyone about cf so kids made up stories that i used drugs and smoked and that's why i had a horrible cough. one day in jr. high i was taking my pills in lunch and a kid saw me and told a teacher i was taking drugs. i got sent to the principal's office and i had to bring my mom the next day cause they didnt believe my cf story and they took my pills away!! i would love to take that scholarship but i didnt do that well in school. my grades were horrible.
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